nw is 3.45am in the morning cant slp...still abit awake...but abit sleepy too...was realli pondering lots of stuff in head...find it very weird to be so free nw... coz big day over...i dun wish to be free... coz i dun wish to tink so much... i realli wan to get myself occupied with stuff again...argghh!!!... okok big day was not very good in population...but the atmosphere was there... jux love it...haha... esp the drama part was so damm funny even im the one acting... dun get the chance to see the dance...shit!!...must be very bad loh de dance...haix... im realli realli very tired over the troubles in me...shit man... how to get rid of it... i noe is nearly imposible but why cant i jux let it go...grrr!!! dammit wen it cmes to this kind of stuff...arghh!! im jux shit loh...find myself change alot...in the way of my tinking...at least im more postitive tinking compare to last time...haha issit a good sign?...haha... yawn wan to slp nw hav to wake up early at 2pm haha...hey tat is early for me kae...i wake up at 3pm plus de hor...hahh bb

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k...was 4.30am nw...cant slp...was actually pondering a few things...hav been goin thru so many difficulits in life...but how to i over cme this prob nw...i dun wish to tink of wat is goin to happen...but does u noe the feel inside me...is so stuffy...i cant jux release it out...was realli sad wen i tink of wat will goin to happen or wat had already happen... i jux dun wish to realli to tink of it... but things keep on making me to ponder over it...im jux a coward after all...jux realli a freaking coward loh...wat a useless bum am i...haix...jux a small thing i cant even do it... i realli have noe eyes see wat is goin to happen... many ppl tot tat i will be ok with the fact and the truth tat is goin to take place soon...but the actual fact is i cant accept it...in terms of good and bad...i dunnoe... i hav such a phobia accepting such a little thing...jux feeling myself useless...i always tot tat i can overcme this difficult situation but i was realli wrong...y do it hav to end this way...