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k...was 4.30am nw...cant slp...was actually pondering a few things...hav been goin thru so many difficulits in life...but how to i over cme this prob nw...i dun wish to tink of wat is goin to happen...but does u noe the feel inside me...is so stuffy...i cant jux release it out...was realli sad wen i tink of wat will goin to happen or wat had already happen... i jux dun wish to realli to tink of it... but things keep on making me to ponder over it...im jux a coward after all...jux realli a freaking coward loh...wat a useless bum am i...haix...jux a small thing i cant even do it... i realli have noe eyes see wat is goin to happen... many ppl tot tat i will be ok with the fact and the truth tat is goin to take place soon...but the actual fact is i cant accept it...in terms of good and bad...i dunnoe... i hav such a phobia accepting such a little thing...jux feeling myself useless...i always tot tat i can overcme this difficult situation but i was realli wrong...y do it hav to end this way...