too much neagative respond comin to my mind...is drving me nuts...ARGH!!...can i hav peace for a sec...daes are goin jux to fast...it mayb slow to others...but i find it too fast...things change...was actually looking back to my time wen im in sec sch...miss all de time there...even i dun quite lyk quite a number of ppl there...but i still miss de time wen i wif my frens...de gang of frens tat i always mix wif...ya even we still get in contact every nw and den..but we dun hav de chance to see each other everyday lyk we use to do...haha...we share lame jokes together...laugh out with all we have...LOL...was so memorable...at least nw life is still not bad...my class nw in ite is at least better den last yr...i dun lyk my class last yr...i cant communicate wif dem at least after de class shuffer...which is nw...is alot time better...i lyk my class nw...i find tat dey are very united...and active bunch of ppl...haha...at least God shows His grace to me...at least is realli better den last yr...i hav to a loner...coz i realli cant communicate wif dem...2 different world ppl...nw...at least i start to get influence by den not in de negative way but more to postive way...i start realli hang out wif dem...i think im more likely to hang outside compare to church nw....i feel tat i not very active in my minstry not cell guitarist i mean... dun get de wrong idea....mistry lyk serving and stuff dunnoe how to explanin...i think sumthing is wrong wif my spirtual growth...i feel tat is abit dead nw...not tat i totally dun feel anything...is lyk...haix...dunnoe wat to sae...i feel tat im getting more and more not involed in church stuff liao...is lyk im more sticking to de outside world...is very different frm last time...i feel a distance between me and God...de fact is i feel myself very resitricted in my life nw in church compare to last time....i have to do things on other ppls way...i cant hav my own freedom to do things tat i wan to do...and it ended up i have de wrong Mentality of doing things...i nw hav de Mentality of doin it for de sake of doin it not for God anymore...i have been hinding this for quite sumtime...there still things tat hidden beneath me....hav been asking do i wan to be a leader?...infact i din realli think abt it b4...until few daes ago...do i hav de intention to becme one?...im realli confuse...i oso dunnoe y am i in this lev which im in nw...is lyk i suddenly awake frm a deep slp and realise y am i here...wat de hack am i doin???...i dun hav de intention to go until so far which im already in nw...i realli still thinking am i qualified? to becme one...im realli pondering...i admit for nw my Mentality of servin is wrong i admit tat...i used to hav a Mentality of serving for God...nw my Mentality totally changed....wat has happen to me nw...i feel happy and glad after serving each minstry last time...nw i dun realli feel a single thing...im goin thru a tuff spirtual warefare nw....every single sec of my life nw i can hear satan talking to me...all de neagetive reply...i cant get rid of it...and nw im trying very very hard to change back my Mentality...tml im goin to meet Tobias early...i hope is goin to be a breathroug for me...a chance for me to change my Mentality...talk to one of de person tat came to de bbq de other time on de fone todae...we talk for more den 2hrs...and 2hrs on msn did lots of catch up...trying to get him to church tml oso...

i feel myself not very understanded by others...i realli realli always try to understand others...but did dey realli try to understand me...NO!...i hav my own limitation oso....

the song for cell is doin fine nw...i mange to get all 3 of de songs...is a new level of breakthrough nw...coz i never play all this songs b4...i think is a breakthrough...

hey back to bloggin...haha dun worry this will not be a long one compare to de last post...okok well im goin to be dammm busy in june...first is Ignite camp, Next is 2 days 1 nite cycling trip Next is my class chalet....haha...damm excitied...haha coz every week in june i will be goin og camp and chalets...haha...1st week is ignite 2nd week is 2 dae 1 nite cycling trip...3rd week is class chalet...well de class chalet de date is not fix...mayb on july....haha todae was Miss Jalna bdae...dunnoe how to spell...haha...den our class celebrate for her...so was actually having lesson was MCT prac lesson...den we actually plan b4 hand...so we actually intend to sabo her...haha...even Miss Gay our class advisor oso wif us...so we bought cakes...tat Youshan la...buy 2 cakes for $$$120...damm ex... loh...den de cake is lyk make of pure gold lyk tat...den after tat we all go prepare powder...actually wan to sabo Miss Jalna de...den in end dun hav...coz she wear until very nice...den instead we sabo miss gay...haha she tot she was wif us...den we whole class take powder and chase her...haha...den we were all running about in sch...den she ran into one of de lab...and lock herself inside...den she tot we cant get her...den she keep doin tat funny face at de window on de door de...den she din realise tat de door very easy to break open...haha....den we break open de door den she was lyk dammm shock loh...den we throw powder at her...wah lau...u can see de whole place all powder...den u can see de very thick poweder smoke...imageine a class of 40++ ppl whole hand grab wif poweder den throw together...haha...den we actually make a mess in tat lab....den de lab asst ran out wif de face damm black...LOL...but we still dun care...den we all aim Song Hui...de whole class start to chase him...ppl tot we siao all wat...so many ppl with hand full of powder chasing one guy LOL....den we run around de whole school...LOL...den i ran until siao...den my pants almost drop LOL lucky i manage to pull up b4 it drop...den we lost sight of him...den we lyk seaching for him loh...den section head walk pass us damm funny...we put our hand inside our shirt LOL...he lyk huh wat we doin LOL....den we wen back to de lab...was a big mass...haha den can see de lab asst dammm angry LOL...den he go complain...to section head...haha even Miss gay side us...haha...so de section head is goin to see us tml i think?...haha...LOL...nxt dey are goin to aim me and you cai and mark...coz our bdae is together...haha...we are jux so dead....LOL...

de comin cell songs abit quite challenging for me...coz de songs all is i never play b4 de...haha well a new chance for me to learn 3 new songs...manage to get 2 of it...onli left 1...actually i can get tat one de...is onli de toopid pause part...i cant get it...well still got time...haha...hope God will shine upon me as im goin to bring glory to His name...

hav been skiping meals lately...i can even dun eat for whole dae yet im still so full...guess sumthing is wrong wif me sum how...this comin June i think will hav lots of camp for me 1st is de Ignite camp, next i heard there is SJ camp and next is goin to be a camp with my grp of frens...haha ...the other time we cycle almost half of singapore and this time round we going to cycle i think more den a half of singapore and we are goin to camp over nite and den continue to cycle de next dae morning till we reach our destination...haha...well if u noe me very xtremly well u will noe tat im a sporty type of person...haha doesent look lyk rite?...haha well i dun play sports lyk bball or soccer...but i prefer xtrem sports lyk rocking climbing or any sports tat is related to heights or Adventures stuff esp thoese dangerous type...haha well not me rite? haha...i jux love de scary feeling we u are on top looking dwn...haha...well i join rock climbing in sch de other time...but i quit haha coz i jux hate de timing well...dun really hav de chance to enjoy de sports tat i lyk actually even i hav my mum will start naggin at me...haha...so seldom try it out...de last time i climb i think was about 3yrs ago...haha quite long rite...de first time i climb i think was P6...haha too bad i dun look tat sporty haha...so not many ppl realli noe tat i play this types of sports de...haha...nw u guys noe sumthing abt me rite...haha since young i love to climb i always climb at hme de...haha...frm one shelf climb to other shelf den frm there jump on top of de closet den jump on to my bed...haha not suprise tat i change my bed every nw and den last time...haha...since i seldom try de sports i lyk i end up slacking at hme last time...
haha...tat is wen i hav my first computer...den nth better to do...wen to explore around de computer...at first i explore de window 98... den slowly open up de system unit and explore around haha tat was wen i was sec1...well there is wen i start to fall in love in computer and IT stuff..haha...den start to experment with different parts...tat time i still dunnoe wat is wat..den anyhow pluck here and there...hha...den slowly i start to explore wif my dad...haha tat is wen i start to grow a stronger relationship wif him...and tat is still around sec1...or i think i jux finish PSLE...haha...den we together go buy lots of parts and i mean lots...den we go experment together...haha...den we every sat sure go simlim square or go library borrow books abt IT and stuff den we share our knowlege...tat is realli de time i realli start to hav a great relationship wif my dad frm de same passion and interest...till wen i was sec3 i was introuduce to photoshop by a fren of mine his a designer...i was using corel draw den...was totally amaze by his design...and the mircals of photoshop...tat was de time i start to pick up designing at first i design until realli lyk shit...den tat time i realli go and borrow books and learn...den master de formula...of which design...den slowly i start to fall in love wif web desining...create my own web...haha tat time i realli hate blog not tat i wat la...is lyk very no creativity loh is lyk take frm de blogskin.com and paste into blog...is lyk not sumthing personal tat u realli do out with ur own desire....den is lyk everyone got de same design...haha...no offends to blog user hor...tat was last time...haha so i dun use blog tat time...instead i use geocities as my hoster...tat time i experiment around wif HTML den slowly to java script den to CSS...haha...wen was sec4 i start to try out Flash...did not realli succed actually...onli manage to do simple 2D flash is a big achivement for me tat time...coz i totally master it on my own...so jux one day my com dwn den hav to format my com...all my photo design and webdesign all gone...tat was damm sad loh...or my yrs of hard work de experments all gone...well tat time totally lose intesrest liao...so end up becomin a heavy gamer i mean real heavy...i can spent 16hrs infront of com jux to play games...tat time i still using dial up internet very ex...so never play online games...so after i gradu i totally hav no aim in life and onli jux to play game...i start to slack alot...spent my whole holidays plaing game...din realli go out and work la...but after my ITE start...is lyk very slack...not interested wif anything...so until one day...i was walking in AMK central met...qiuling she pass be a flyer and she invited me to go for church big day...i was suprise den coz i lose contact wif her for quite sumtime...seldom meet...den i dunnoe y she suddenly lyk so into church and stuff...was quite suprise...haha...at tat time i pick up a job...as flyer distrubter...tat time i still remember i was attending a wedding dinner...den qiuling call me to call me go for bigday...i was reluctant at first coz i dun realli into church stuff...coz i backslide lots and lots and i mean lots of time since i was young....haha ya for your info...i was tricked to bcme christian wen i was K1 LOL...was thru out de yrs i backslide 1 mth cme back 2 weeks for more den 10yrs LOL...can imagine i backslide how many times...haha well i guess i backslide thruout de whole 10yrs coz i dun realli feel anything by de way i was frm a xtrem traditional church and most of dem are adults or small kids...LOL onli me and my cousing same age guess sum of u shld noe his Roman came to our church once...we were very xrtem close last time la...nw lose contact liao...oh ya back to topic...so qiuling call me to go big day i was very unwilling jux and another reason coz i hav to work at tat time and i dun think i can take off...coz my work place onli me giving flyer...den i jux dunnoe y suddenly sumthing make me call my boss and take leave so i jux call my boss suprisingly he gave me off as if is lyk nth lyk tat den i call qiuling tat im goin...so i wen to de bigday..with kitkeong guesss sum of u all noe hu issit...haha...well den we wen for big day den de big day is held in novena de conference room...well we wen there early...so me and kit keong and qiuling and my sis siting at de back...den first person tat came and talk to me was clement ng!....LOL...coz is still very early so he came and talk to me...he was sooooo coooooool loh...he was wearing de mic..dunnoe wat issit called...is a mic hook on de ear den got one thing infront of de mouth...haha...den he wear de black color jacket tat he usually wear...i still can remeber...den he came talking to me...we were talking abt sports haha...den talk abt NBA...LOL....so de bigday started i think was praise and worship was realli amazed by de praise and worship...coz i came frm a tratidtional church...din realise tat praise and worship is lyk soooo rockish type de...den is lyk u can feel de impact there...so next was drama...kim guang was acting at de time...my first impression is...HIS DAMM LOUD....LOL...ppl use normal talking he use shouting de...LOLs....den next is de alter call...i attend de altar call...haha...is lyk i there is sumthing telling me...this is de place u hav found...and this is de place of ur commitment...den i jux step out not knowing y oso...den i realise it was God tat spoke to me tat time...wow amazing rite....den after de service i still rember was Jason call me for John 3:16....de first question i still rember he ask me how was de event jux nw...i sae was great and i wan to commit to this church tat was jux b4 he wanted to share John 3:16...haha....power rite ppl havent share John 3:16 already got de intention to commint liao...is not me saeing tat is sumtthing make me to sae tat i noe is de work of de Holy Spirit....den de first time i join service...was very amaze by de praise and worhip and de preaching esp....is sooooo alot times millions time different frm my ex-tradtional church...so sumthing tells me...u hav found ur home...so tat time i was sitting at de back...for de next 2 or 3 service i still sitting at de back not realli commited at de time...so until one powerful service guess was de 4th or 5th time of me comin for de service...tat is de powerful part...my life was transform after tat service...wen peter ask for alter call...this is de time i realli walk out...my tears realli flow lyk open tab...den i knee dwn and start to cry hard non stop...all my guilt and pain for de past is realli erased...tat is wen i noe de true meaning of the old hav gone de new hav come...den if im not wrong is was praise songs...i jux dunnoe y after de alter call still got praise songs...i start to jump and shout for God...i guess i was de onli one infront of de stage jumping...tat is de time i realli jump with happiness inside...so frm de day on...i always lyk to jump alot for praise and worship...haha nw u guys noe y i lyk to jump alot rite...haha tat is one of de reason y?....so after frm tat dae...i start my life start to change same as de verse sae The old has gone de new has come...i start to pick all sorts of minstry frm big to small...or small to big...tat time i still remeber is was june holidays...i came to church almost everyday...den is either play drum and study with freda dey all...we hang out everytime tat time start to hav a close bond wif dem...dey are one of de first few tat we hav bond together since de time i join church...so we always hav jamming session...was very amaze by kg wen he play drum...den wen i start to try den i realise i got de passion for drums...haha...den so he teach me la...at tat time i realli very xtremly xtremly on fire for God...realli do all sorts of minstry...at tat time i realli admire thoese ppl on stage...i told myself one day i wan to get myself up there no matter wat it cause...tat is de biggest ultimate mistry tat i wan to join in my life...no matter how difficult it is i still wan to get to de mistry i wan...at tat time my aim is to be drummer on stage......u guys noe tat church got one classical guitar rite...so until one very very fine day i took out tat guitar and i start to lyk anyhow play i dunnoe anything abt guitar...at least i last time got abit of knowlege on drum...at least i still can play...but guitar is i totally got no knowledge abt it...so was anyhow playin...and tat is my very very first time touching guitar with tat classical gutiar....so be honored wen u touch tat guitar hor...LOL...so my first chord i learn was A, Em and D...was taught by chuting...tat time...den learn de basic strumming pattern...i keep on playin de same chord A, Em and D over and over again and again and again...wen ever i touch tat guitar i will play de same thing...over and over again...but tat time i still got great passion for drums...so i jux dunnoe y one day...within one day i lose all my passion for drums and all into guitar...its not me loh...im a person which wen i got passion for sumthing is very very hard for me to lose it...i jux dunnoe loh...den i start to hav passion for guitar at de time...even i do not hav de talent in it...but i jux keep on playing de same chords over and over again...play de same thing everytime...so join de church guitar class...start to hav even more passion for it...so until one day...in power while i was praying...God spoke to me...tat i will be a cell guitarist...and tat is de stepping stone for me...i was realli realli shock i hav never ever thought for becomin one...and God noes my goal is to serve Him on stage...His making my plans well....is creates all de plan so perfectly loh...He make me start frm small..as a cellguitarist nw...frm there is my real training ground...so i share this with peter and clement...i was realli shock wen God spoke to me...lyk tat...i guess tat was my first encouter wen God spoke to me...if im not wrong...so i stike for de aim of cell guitarist frm tat timeon...is was a realli realli realli realli long proecess for me to get to cellguitarist...i may hav talent...but God is providing it to me every step tat i take..example...wen i tat time i got difficult bare chords...i cant get it for weeks...all i did was pray and ask God to teach me how to...de next moment i can get it...wen i dunnoe how to play certain things for weeks i pray and ask God de next moment i got it...is lyk miricals...i pray and ask God for talent He din give me...nw i noe y coz we wans to teach me in every level i go thru...level by level bit by bit in a very detailed mode...it mayb a long process...but every level i go thru...beside learning de things tat i wan...i learn sumthing spirtual and physically....i may not been very xtrem spirtually matured...but i noe i hav grown spirtually matured compare to me last time wen i first step in to church....frm de long process of learning a instrument i grew spirtually matured bit by bit...even till nw....God is still teaching me...He has taught me for abt a yr since de time i touch guitar...june is comin....i marks de exactly one yr of me touching guitar is equals to a yr of walk of walking process with God...until nw i noe y God din give me de talent wen i realli ask for....He wans me to learn is a detailed process so tat i can not jux serve Him in my minstry and i oso gain spirtual knowledge...and plus God wans to teach me to be a patient person....is a combo...i learn lots and lots and gain lots and lots frm this xtrem long process...it mayb long but de pay off is huge...this i post is my longest post i ever wrote...long rite...well this onli de introduction...shall continue next time....this actully can sae is my life testimony...well hope frm this post u guys can noe more abt me....still got lots to continue actully...but my hands are tired nw...haha...shall continue de next time...

i think i did quite well todae...but still got room for improvement...i noe i cock up in de plucking part...was actually closing my eyes den accidentally lose count of de bar....lucky was been save by de 2nd verse...for de praise songs i think is too soft...they sing louder den i play...esp de king of majesty even mee myself cant even hear wat im playing LOL...am i deaf or wat??...LOL...den i start to lyk wack abit hard coz i really cant hear wat im playing....LOL...so in order not to lose my beat i start to sing oso...den the worship song play until de highest peak tat time den din expect another round of repeating of chorus and i cannot pull up anymore coz im playin de highest peak liao...if i still wack it will sounds lyk..yucks...den end up substain tat lev...but if i play other key i think i still can wack coz i can mute de 6th strings den will not hav de buzzing sound...den todae cannot mute coz playing E key dun hav extra finger to mute 6th strings...but i noe got one methord de...nw im mastering nw...haha...is to place the tip of ur finger on de 6th string while u press on de 5th string...haha todae is really a learning experience do gain quite number of exprience todae...well should work hard for de next comin cell...nw i noe wat to watch out liao...haha...

hav been praticing lately...i can see a slight improvement...but hav to sharpening it...not very use to the new way of playing...is lyk very weird...nw i hav to overcome stage fright...guess non of u guys actually noe tat i got stage fright...is quite bad actually...whenever i try to do sumthing tat requires skill i will tend to tremble and my hands and legs will becme stiff and the most funny thing is i will keep on shaking my leg alot esp wen i am standing...so guys hav to be paitient with me...haha...so to overcome this i jux hav to face it...participating unwind is realli taking me lots of courage to do so...haha..even i cant sing well but at least i gain experience in performing...hav been experimenting on different ways of playin for different songs...quite intersting actuall...din realise tat u can realli use ur creativity to play and modify a song...haha...after i hav master my finger stlye im goin to buy elect guitar...haha guess shld be time...but not tat soon...i think shld be around this comin dec?...well depends which level i am in nw...but i think will be soon...coz i can see improvement nw...after so long...LOLs....imagine using elect guitar to play for cell...hey i seen ppl doin tat...is jux so cool!...the atmosphere is realli different...wif elect guitar...esp in enclose area...

have a great time todae...cell outreach event at sylvia's hse...find thoese guys tat quite potential...after mixing wif dem...dey are very friendly...haha...i jux love the chicken wing and the satay is sooo damm nice...manage to get quite a number of potential souls...wow this is de first time we do such event and got so much potential ppl....indeed outreach is a tiring job...but no pain no gain rite?...at least i get a chance to see different types of ppl...haha...praying hard tat thoese ppl will go to unwind this comin sat...argh! im still hungry i wan tat chicken wing...todaes posting is rather long i think?...well i still havent end the post yet...

God is showing me grace...things in my life start to change...i start to mix well wif ppl in my sch...at least we get to noe each other better...hav a great talk with my bro the other night...we really discuss on our family matter...at least we got a better chance to noe each others needs and doubts...i can start to understand a little in class nw...at least better den im totally lost rite?...haha...my finiacial is reovering nw...even thu i still got a $160 internet bill havent pay...guess i shld hlp my bro a little in his bills...this is wat family are for rite?...even thu my life is lyk not goin well sum sort lyk "SWAY" in almost everything...not tat i belif in luck is lyk sum sort lyk very sway...not jux once or twice is lyk lots of times...but i guess im happy with tat...God is testing my paitents...starting to overcome stage fright even thu i still hav a long way to go...but i see a little little improvement...i guess nw i can play at least a little better in cell nw...jux tat i need a long period of warm ups....

mayb my guitar teacher is comin to church and teach...its still not confirm yet...but i guess is realli a blessing thru me to this church...im quite happy abt it...is lyk is so rare to find such a proffesional hu can teach praise and worship in such a price is realli a blessing...im realli blessed by this teacher...he is realli realli a very very nice person...his not tat kind of teach liao take money den go tat type de...he realli tat kind make sure tat u noe...he oso dun mind dragging de lesson for additional 1 or 2 hrs to teach me more stuff...even i cannot catch all...he will still take up 1 or 2 hr additonal to teach me de next week...even i still dun understand a certain thing he dun mind teaching me online on msn...he jux soooo coool!!!.....he oso posted a web for online learning and is free..... selftaughtguitarist.net ...go check it out de videos online...

next cell is comin soon...is realli a great challenge for me to face my fear...i jux hate to play infront of ppl...but i still hav to overcome it to go to the next level...I WILL OVER COME!!!.....GET LOST U BLOOODY SATAN!!!!.......dun let me see u again...or else i will pluck off ur horns on head and stuff it into ur nosetrails and pluck off ur tail and stuff it in to ur left ear and cme our frm the right ear...and i will break the front 2 long teeth...i will make sure i use de D&T file ...and file off ur teeth...i will will peel off ur skin and dye is blue instead of red....too bad i will not give up tat easy...stp telling me to give up!!....i will not too badd!!!

did not played well for the last cell...well i should take failure as a learning point...as least i noe where the prob lies nw...working hard on it...at least i nw got 3 weeks for me to get preapared this time...i bet i will play even better de next time...had been praticing frm a very xtreme slow tempo and soft volume wif metro for praise songs for days... all using wrist instead of my hand...not quite use to it coz hav been using hand instead of wrist to play last time...quite hard...hav to relax my wrist and hand to play...den my pick keep on flying here and there...have to build my basics damm well b4 i can go to other lev...in order to play fast well u must play slow well....sooo i goin to start frm the slowest tempo...this time i will suceed...and for my worship song hav been trying to get the rite temp of 72...hav been playing 76 last time....is hard to unscrew and re screw again...well guess my afford will pay off well...with great determination cme greater success