till nw i still very mad and hurt plus xtremly dissapointed....i dunnoe shld i still carry on or jux give up and walk off...jux looking back on my efforts it keeps me goin on...but wen i look at de out cme it disappoints me...talk to one of my old fren on msn jux nw...well she dun seems to understand me either...well but she said sumthing quite true...

well i understand that sumtimes things need to be said...but do u need to sae so directly? without thinking of others being hurt or not?...this is not de first time...i have been keeping silent for so loong...and sumore if front of so many ppl???

i was looking arnd...all the ppl arnd me seems so fortunate...when they are sad or dissapointed they have sumone to lean to...but well me?? i have no one...i have to carry all de dissapointment all by myself...and is getting heavier and heavier...wenever i wanted to share to the people they seems not willing to listen...but during my friends most saddness and dissapointed time i was there for dem despite all my disssapointment i have...it seems that i can encourage ppl to move on and motivate them...but it seems that i cant do it on myself...

well ppl may sae is onli a cellgrp...then i can sae de person dont know me well...do u noe how much effort i have put in since 1yr ago?? how much time i have chip in...how many sacrifices i have?? and much moneny and tears spend???jux to cme to this level?? and u expect me nw to take it lightly???...that word realli pissed me off...frm all this hardwork de outcme is a fail...is a great dissapointment and once again i have to carry all by myself...i always cried to God wenever im dissapointed...but where is He??? i cant feel Him...whenever i fail i always find ways to motivate myself...there are totally noe one there to motivates me...support me...totally no one...no one is there to be with me during my most disaapointed times...ppl dun seems to understand me this is onli my 5th time in cell playin...they sae they understand but how much do they???

sometimes is inside me and i realli wan to burst out...wenever i share wif others i always revecied back a 1 or 2 words reply...but wen others are down...they always got more then 1 paragraph of motivating words frm their friends...im not saying that im jealous... i jux wan to let u guys noe how i feel...todae posting may be discouraging to others...but i realli cant take it anymore i realli want to spill out everything...