wen to et hse to stay overnite wif yz and zl jux came back nia...did lots of stuff yesterdae frm afternoon go gym train den go swim den go sauna...den after tat go play dota den maple...LOL...did lots of things la...den wen to play his piano...i jux found it easy to find de notes on de piano compare to guitar loh...guitar de notes is all jumper up one...but piano is lyk so easy to find...heard his bro play guitar...well not bad...

last thur mid week service the attendence was bad...actually i dun even feel lyk goin...was very down then...was realli been press down by thr words satan said...i was realli press down...den suddenly i heard the fire fall down playin on my window media player...realli touches me...then there is wen i heard God talking to me..."From The Glory you gave Me, I will make sure you will never be the same again"...I guess God is actually saying thank you to me for all the things i done for Him jux tat words realli encourage me alot...the word "From the Glory you gave me" He actually knows my hard work for Him and He appreciates it He seen thru me He knows my heart for Him...and the word " I will make sure you will never be the same again" coz of I build His house and now He will build mine...was quite touch by the words...during my warfare most of the time i heard satan's words and God's word is so soft...but this time round God's voice covers satan's word...after that God said come and claim what u deserve and you will see you will not be the same again...so actually wen down to service tat time...seems so little ppl...i cant feel Him the first song...i tried to jump here and there try to get His presence but i cant...so i close my eyes and said a little prayer at the last song was fire fall down...He came again...and these is the first time in these whole week i prayed with my heart...

God told me on July 27 2006 6:53pm...From the Glory you given Me i will not Let you be the same again...well guess is a motivation word from Him..

well im still feeling down over my issiue...is not tat im mad wif de person...i have forgiven de person long time ago...but is onli im still very disappointed la...well if u guys realli been thru all the 1yr of constant disappointment guess u will noe wat i mean...yes i have strong determination after each time i fail i will still climb on can continue my journey...but im a human too...i will sure get tired one day...i jux dunnoe wat to sae...im having lots of warfare in me rite not jux in my ministry but oso in many areas la...i cant denied tat i very weak nw...realli i hav to admit i very spirtual weak nw...

well God have been trying to make me happy by doin a few stuff todae...but well i jux rejected it...He tried to speak to me but i dun wan to listen...im jux very reluctant to hear all the Godly stuff rite nw...

till nw i still very mad and hurt plus xtremly dissapointed....i dunnoe shld i still carry on or jux give up and walk off...jux looking back on my efforts it keeps me goin on...but wen i look at de out cme it disappoints me...talk to one of my old fren on msn jux nw...well she dun seems to understand me either...well but she said sumthing quite true...

well i understand that sumtimes things need to be said...but do u need to sae so directly? without thinking of others being hurt or not?...this is not de first time...i have been keeping silent for so loong...and sumore if front of so many ppl???

i was looking arnd...all the ppl arnd me seems so fortunate...when they are sad or dissapointed they have sumone to lean to...but well me?? i have no one...i have to carry all de dissapointment all by myself...and is getting heavier and heavier...wenever i wanted to share to the people they seems not willing to listen...but during my friends most saddness and dissapointed time i was there for dem despite all my disssapointment i have...it seems that i can encourage ppl to move on and motivate them...but it seems that i cant do it on myself...

well ppl may sae is onli a cellgrp...then i can sae de person dont know me well...do u noe how much effort i have put in since 1yr ago?? how much time i have chip in...how many sacrifices i have?? and much moneny and tears spend???jux to cme to this level?? and u expect me nw to take it lightly???...that word realli pissed me off...frm all this hardwork de outcme is a fail...is a great dissapointment and once again i have to carry all by myself...i always cried to God wenever im dissapointed...but where is He??? i cant feel Him...whenever i fail i always find ways to motivate myself...there are totally noe one there to motivates me...support me...totally no one...no one is there to be with me during my most disaapointed times...ppl dun seems to understand me this is onli my 5th time in cell playin...they sae they understand but how much do they???

sometimes is inside me and i realli wan to burst out...wenever i share wif others i always revecied back a 1 or 2 words reply...but wen others are down...they always got more then 1 paragraph of motivating words frm their friends...im not saying that im jealous... i jux wan to let u guys noe how i feel...todae posting may be discouraging to others...but i realli cant take it anymore i realli want to spill out everything...

im very hurt mad and dissapointed...i dun wish to sae it here BCOZ I AM SENSTIVE!!!....im not that kind if person hu is not SENSITIVE AND OVER TOO DIRECT AND HURTING with their words...at least i still care for their reputation...well i jux need lots of time to cool down...i dun wish to hurt anyone frm my actions or words nw...

well at least i seen things already...in life is realli hard to treat a person nice...yet de person treat u in another way...well...this is life...is full negative stuff...after this incident i have a strong intention to give up...i mean in everything!!...i already have enough since im not talented in it guess other can do a better job den me...i dun feel needed anymore...well depends on how it goes...well is God playing a fool of me??? well i will see... i having been praying and working so damm freaking hard for more den 1 yr spending time and moneny and soo much effort and i mean real lotsss...yet the outcome is haix... XTREMLY DISAPPOINTED!!!! this not de first time is been lyk this for more den a yr but this time is even worst haix.......well it will depends on my will to move on anot nw...if not guess u guys will noe wat i mean

well i dun wish to bring this up...but well i stand in de middle standing...i dun wish to offend anyone...will i jux hope my posting will be more encouraging instead of destroying sumone...will i can sense sparks everywhere nw...i not sure wat is exactly goin on...but i can tell you i can hear satan is talking...well sumtimes argues or quarrel weld us together more closer we got a chance to see each other hates and likes and frm there we will take precaution next time so that we will not offend de person again...well i cant blame u ppl who are close infact is good that you guys are close...i am not suprise to see you guys so close coz most of u all are frm the same school and see each other almost everydae and some of you are oso taking Os together i belive this is de reason y u guys are closer...is ok if u have close frens in church infact next time our church grow in de size lyk city havest u cannot expect everyone to noe each other rite?? and this is de reason y cell grps are for???...jux lyk our human body we have lots and lots of cell...and in each cell there are many particals inside de cell lyk plasma bla bla bla(im not good in bio so dun blame me) each part of this particals in the cell have a role to play...and each cell in de body have a part to play too... if a partical in de cell dun work...do u think de whole cell will work out well??? then if de cell dun work out well do u think de body will function well???... sumtimes different cell groups they cant understand other cellgroups well u cant blame tat too...is infact is a sign tat our church is growing do u think all the cell group in cityhavest noe each other well?? NO!...but tat doesnt tat we dun fellowship together rite? coz we are one BODY...as i sae if one cell dun work well do u think de body can function well?..i admit i have close frens in church too...but it doesnt mean tat i dun fellowship with other members...remeber this ppl we are a part not apart

Ps: Sylvia i have high hopes for u but im not putting pressure on u...i respect ur priorities in ur life...but i jux wan to tell u DO NOT look at de Obstacles towards ur goal...satan noes wat u wan to do for the LORD and of coz he is unhappy...he will find ways to attack ur WEAKNESS so tat u will not succed...well i being thru tat stage and i can tell u is not easy even nw im still struggling...But the Lord sae if u wan to follow me u have to carry the cross...

PRAISE DE LORD!!! i got 3 testi this whole mth.....haha...God is indeed faithful...haha i noe i dun hav de chance to share during cell...but i dun mind sharing it nw...shall share de latest testi...de next 2 testi shall leave it next time...haha...

was quite worried over my results actually...coz i din realli do well in the exams...i think i flunk one of module de exams...as i expected tat i will flunk tat module...b4 the exams i push my projects and praticals hope tat it can cover up my exams...hope tat i will hav at least a B for tat module....was praying damm hard to get tat grade B coz i cant afford to get a C or else my GPA will have a great impact which make my chances to poly even lower... den during my examinations frm de paper i took i was totally damm disappointed all de qus seems so stranger to me den i started lose hope...jux hoping to get a C instead of B......jux yesterdae i received my results i was damm shock...i got a B for tat Module and the rest of de module...and my GPA score is 3.214...my GPA still above 3 at least i still remain qualified for poly and higher nitec...

todae wen to my ex church...my grandma aunt and 2 cousin baptize todae...haha long time never go back liao...all de small kids i noe nw grow up liao...haha...wah u noe how dey baptize mah...i mean de stage is soo stylo loh...haha...at first is P&W...haha their P&W still de same...haha i feel werid wen i go their P&W...haha...cant blame is tradtional church tats y...all their song is i not use to it de...found it weird tats all...haha...more towards tat kind of...dunnoe how to sae...haha...den is lyk very weird loh...long time never go the kind of church where ppl dun jump here and there and shout and scream here and there de...haha...all lyk so sad sad lyk tat...haha...den P&W finish...den was preaching...haha as usual my uncle preach...oh his a pastor of tat church anywae...haha...de preaching sounds boring...but i force myself to hear...actually quite meanginful leh...haha...as usual one translator is always standing next to de pastor...haha den is de testimony sharing for thoes ppl goin to be baptize...haha most of dem are small children...cant stp lauging wen dey speak...haha...dey are realli cute and funny..haha...den de baptize Ceremony begin...den i realise jux under de stage is a pool....haha...at first i see ppl remove de cover on de stage...den wen dey remove it completly den i realise jux under de stage is a pool...haha...stylo rite...haha...den de Ceremony begin...first was my grandma...as my grandma walk dwn to de water...and she was personally baptize by my uncle which is her son...jux as she walk dwn to de water...i can sense a strong and powerful huge force of HolySpirit..is lyk sumthing Holy is arnd de place...i dunnoe how to describe...next person goin to baptize was my aunt den follow by my cousins...den to de small kids in my church...i felt tat my family are so bless i mean my mum side...all my aunt and uncles to my cousins and grandma...at my mum side mostly are christian...dey were once very commited to other gods...but nw dey were all christians...wow...and my uncle prayed for dem for dunnoe how many yrs tat dey will convert by christ...he prayed 24yrs for my grandma to convert...haha...power rite...

one of de big testimony happen is my granddad came and witness my grandma and aunt and cousin been baptize...he was once very anti towards christ...but nw was damm suprise to see him in church...i got a sense tat he will be converted next...well dunnoe wen will be my parents turn...frm all these i realise one thing...prayers mayb take long to be answerd but de pay off is more den wat u pray for....

not very satisfy with my performance yesterdae...argh i can do times better den tat...i guess i shld stp playing elec for de time being focus on acoustic liao...too much elec for me...wen hme last nite and do evaluation...realise few pointers already...working on it nw...well guess will better in de next cell... i think i seriously need a music stand in my room...jux hate to put my chord book on my table...heard frm others is onli 15bucks...but i see in yahama is 40bucks...jux saw one in sweelee onli 20bucks on de web guess i will be getting tat one

i can few a little nervous nw...haha coz later playin for cell...well at least much more better den last time...guess is bcoz too long never play for cell..haha...i fingers realli hurt...too much of play elec liao...de strings is so thin easy to get cut...can see tat my room is rather MESSY...argh...no time to clean...haha...eveydae out until so late...well guess tml will hav time...coz tml nth mah...haha...i nid to buy hooks...for my guitar bag to hook dem up on my shelves...i nid a bigger table i mean real big lyk de one peter is using...too much stuff on my table liao...thinking of getting a chord stand...dunnoe wat is de name for it...den i no nid to find my chord book...haha...coz always hidden underneath all the stuff on my table...

learn new stuff frm my teacher...de one string solo...and motive solo ( mutiples strings )... quite cool...but i onli noe in Cmajor...argh...still got long way to go...haha...hav been memorising all de notes on de fret board...wah realli can die...there are total 144 notes leh...including 2 ocatives...haha...can die...i nw onli memorise de 6th and 5th string nia...i mean memorise in finger tips...haha...great achivement liao...coz my memory very bad de...haha...

wow todae is realli was a guitaring experience i have in my life...i play constantly 8hrs can u belife it but of coz got stp for lunch la...den abit of 5mins break...i woke at 12pm start wacking till nw 8pm....haha my hands are aching...i guess i played too much elec guitar liao...feels dammm weird wen i touch acoustic guitar...haha...so dun blame me hor wif comin cell not tat good...haha...pratice de cell songs jux nw...well...at least still can play la...but not use to de amount of strength on acoustic...coz im too use to elec nw...haha...and elec dun need much strength...mange to master 2 songs de solo part on elec guitar...which is The stand and from the inside out...haha one way shld not be a prob for me....tat song play until sian liao...haha...well guess im half way ready for de jamming thing comin next 2 weeks...haha onli need to smoothen my solo part...havent write tabs for tat songs yet...well haha lazy to do it...im striking hard towards my goal...haha well im actually thinking of goin to music school...haha get a degree in music??? shld i??haha...was considering jux nw...haha...will be damm ex...welll guess i will stick to my IT line...haha...blast my speaker jux nw and wack wif my elec guitar...haha....damm shoik haha...de funny part is i can play de solo part of tat song...but wen i play wif de music i will tend to be nevous den i will start to be blur...haha...im jux so crazy over guitars nw...haha...my fingers got lots of cuts liao...haha can feel de pain wen i type nw...haha